friday's (guest) confession: coolness is overrated
Friday, October 22, 2010 Happy Friday, friends! This week I am thrilled to bring you a guest confession from sweet Kylie! Wow, 2 confessions in one week. I never realized I was so scandalicious...
My heroes are the silly folks. Those people who dance like mad, irreverently disobeying any rules of groove. The friends who'll wear their Edward Scissorhands costumes to Halloween parties, and then refuse to take off their scissor-hands even to eat a burger (messy). The grownups who jump into leaf piles with their nieces and nephews, uncaring that they surface with twigs protruding from their hair and stuck to their sweater.
You could hypothesize that it's easier to be silly than cool, but I'd disagree with you. Cool is simple. It involves blending in, assimilating to your surroundings. It means you have to be really good at things (and pretend you are even when you're not). I assume it also involves never laughing at yourself, but I wouldn't know for sure.
I know it's tempting to want to be cool, to be an unsmiling, stylish face floating through Soho or West Hollywood. But my belief is that laughter and human connection and, ultimately, happiness, are found in the very most uncool moments. The times when you're sobbing into your best friend's arms while watching Bambi. When you wear your most ridiculous bowling shirt and commence to bowl horribly. When you and your friend slip on the sidewalk grate at the same time, grabbing each other so you fall to the ground in a fit of giggles. When you then inadvertently snort while laughing.
Coolness is overrated. The real, true fun is found in unabashed dorkiness. In fact, I'd contend that the amount of fun you're having is often directly proportional to your comfort with your own goofiness. I'll admit, though, that my evidence of this is purely anecdotal.
I'd like to now encourage you to get out there and be silly. Eschew the cool. Embrace the funny face. I, and tons of other new friends, will be waiting for you, ready to have some (thoroughly uncool) fun.
Kylie Springman is a writer, photographer and aspiring life coach based in Brooklyn, New York. She attempts to do something goofy at least once per day. You can hang out with her on Twitter as @kyliewriteshere or read her thoughts on feminism, queerness and liking yourself at www.kyliewrites.com. For writing or photography requests, get in touch at kylie.springman@gmail.com
Reader Comments (4)
Kylie! I really loved your post!! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us!! xoxo
I totally agree! I've always found it interesting that the people that were "dorks" in high school are the ones that end up being the people you should marry! One day after graduation they are just who they are.
When I was in high school (about a thousand years ago) therer was a boy who those of us who were "popular" thought was "cute". In a little kiddish kind of way. He was never anyone we would date or anything.
Then we go to college, he and I the same one, we end up being in the same group of friends! In my opinion, high school sucks!
I think that you would be great at giving talks at middle schools. Nipping the whole "cool" "dork" think in the bud.
Debbie: I'm so glad you liked the post. Are you still in touch with your friend from college? I went to college in New York, and we often joked that all the people who were weirdos in high school came to New York for college and were the "coolest" there. Just goes to show that cool is completely subjective -- another reason to ignore it completely.
No Kylie, we are not still in touch. Unfortunately I'm not very good at staying in touch with people.